The heaviest weight we carry into the end often includes the burden of things left undone.
And, it is often someone’s name we never made peace with.
Some doors don’t close with time. They stay ajar, waiting for an apology, a phone call, or the courage to forgive.
There are moments in life when we sense time pressing in, not as a loud demand, but as a quiet nudge. They remind us that not everything heals on its own. Sometimes, it’s not the big tragedies that keep us awake at night, but the small fractures left unattended. The silence after a falling-out. The birthday we meant to call. The “I’m sorry” or “I miss you” that never made it past our pride. Or maybe there’s a “please forgive me” or “I forgive you” that you felt you couldn’t say at the time. You know. . . indeed, those are the things left undone. As I look at my own life, I see a few of those doors still cracked open. Maybe you do too.
What Still Needs Saying?
Is there someone you haven’t called? A relationship that still aches beneath the surface? A word, kind or honest, that’s waited too long to be spoken?
Most of us have something tucked behind that door. We meant to deal with it, but time passed and so did the moment. Maybe it was uncomfortable. Maybe pride got in the way. Or maybe we just didn’t know how to begin.
But the truth is, that ache doesn’t always go away. It just gets quieter until something wakes it back up. A funeral. An old photo. A quiet evening when the past shows up uninvited. This isn’t about guilt. It’s about grace. It’s about asking, gently: Is there something I still need to address from things I’ve left undone before it’s too late to say it?
Take a few minutes, no pressure, no judgment, and write down the name of one person who still lingers in your heart. It might be someone you hurt, someone who hurt you, or simply someone who drifted away.
Then ask yourself:
What, if anything, do I wish I had said?
What kept me from saying it?
And what would it look like to make peace, with them or within myself, before that door closes for good?
You don’t have to send a letter, make a call, or fix everything. Just start by telling the truth on paper. That’s where healing often begins.
Before You Go…
If the video stirred something in you, let it. Sit with it a moment. Hold that space. Don’t rush past the ache. Sometimes it’s just your heart reminding you that love still lives there. And if today nudged you toward a conversation, a note, or even just an honest prayer, do what needs to be done about things you left undone. You don’t have to fix everything. But you can choose one small act of courage. One door you gently close. Or finally open.
I’ve got a few things of my own to tend to. Maybe you do too. Let’s not wait too long.
So good, Joe. Great time to review and assess life. Great content to work throught.
Great song, too! Thank you!
I heard that song at that service for the first time, and it really grabbed me. I had been going through some stuff at that time, and I’m sure God orchestrated that whole scenario! J
Love the song! I have many regrets that now are too to make amends for. I have some more recently I am going to try to apologize for and make the relationship better than what it was before, with more caring and love. I thank you for this wake-up call!!
Janet: I first heard that song in church a couple of weeks before I wrote the piece. I wrote it out of my reaction to hearing that song and the message that it revolved from. As I sat there that day and in the days after, my mind went to many “should-of’s”, “what ifs”, and “if onlys”, most revolving around my marriage and the relationships of assorted qualities I have with my kids. None of those thoughts played nice in my head. In my mind I had started to pour the guilt trip on myself, and with that came regrets. Funny thing about regrets…I’ve always maintained that I don’t carry regrets. And, I clarified that by saying that those regrets were really positives–opportunities to learn from each one and choose to change if a like situation ever comes up again. I never say never for that reason. In the instance of Penny, who passed, I find grace in myself through this: we were two imperfect people who were in an imperfect marriage, the only kind of marriage that will be. We both made mistakes. Some more than once. But I know she forgave andfforgives my shortcomings, as I have certainly forgiven hers. She didn’t die thinking ill of the marriage. Rather she looked at it as a blessing. Just as I do. So where does that leave all of those “shoulda’s”, “if onlys”, etc? Out in the dust. They are temporary manifestations from the dark sideof my mind, that side which wants me to feel and be less than I am. When I allow that to happen, I lose. When I don’t allow it to happen, I win. I believe in God. I believe He has forgiven me, just as she has…so to hold regrets and occasionlly masturbate them means that I don’t trust God.